There are always going to be some people, no matter what they have done , no matter where they have been..you would still want them and you would still be willing to offer them every fucking peice of you even when you know they do not deserve it, but then too often, these “some people” used to be the closest to us. They were the ones who had seen all the shades of us and made us feel loved in colours that we did not know existed.
You would still want to pick up all the broken peices till you are bleeding because you feel it is too hard without them and they make you strong or maybe they make this hell a little less miserable and the pain feel a little more bearable.
You know darling, you are going to meet alot of people in your life. Some people will hold you down. Some people will hurt you, beyond the phase of healing.
Some people would make you want to be different. Better.
Sometimes, you will get these brilliant flashes and they will take you back but I want you to remember- It is not the present, it is the history that is coming back to haunt you.
You will face moments when it will be hard for you to just for once, stop crying so that you can grasp for a little air to fill your lungs and your chest is going to feel heavy but baby, you are stronger than this. You have faced hard times before. You came out of them, didn’t you?
Seeing you standing there is like seeing you in the water barely touching your knees begging for help because you don’t know how to swim but how do I tell you, my love, that all you really need to do is get up and walk right ahead .
I know you feel that you really love them because without them it feels too hard but look what all you have been through. Give second chances; but give them to people who know how to count.
You are the kind of person who doesn’t give up on people that easily and if you had made a decision so big , you must have had a reason- plenty of them. I cannot tell you what you should do but,
If you decide to go back, know there is joy but only momentary; also know there is suffering-one that is endless.
You deserve good people who appreciate you and don’t take you for granted. You deserve love, a whole lot of it. You deserve every bit of happiness in this world and I hope you get it because I know you, I know how beautiful you are and I know your worth.
I want you to remember your worth too.